Beyond Words

Communication, both verbal and nonverbal, is intricately connected in contemporary society. According to recent research, although words are important, non-verbal cues and/or body language remain far more impactful in most situations. Most experts agree that anywhere from 70-93% of all communication is nonverbal. This influence permeates not just the content of our messages but also the perceptions and opinions formed by the people around us. Since the beginning of time, facial expressions, gestures, and body posture have made it clear that body language plays a significant role in how we interact with others and how others perceive us.

FFurthermore, it is commonly recognized that the way we carry ourselves in public and workplace scenarios can have a major impact on the mood, productivity, and reactions or responses of everyone around us. Being able to “read a room” not only relies heavily on the capability of reading, translating, and responding to the physiological language and non-verbal cues of others, but it can also be crucial for effective interactions and the formation of strong bonds. The good news is that we all have a bit of this capability "hard-wired" into our DNA. Some are just closer to this inherent connection than others. This article delves into the importance of non-verbal cues and body language and how they regulate our personal connections, professional accomplishments, and societal dynamics. Accurately translating nonverbal cues aids in deciphering thoughts, emotions, and internal conflicts otherwise hidden just beneath the surface. Trust building, deception detection, and problem solving are just a few of the common communication processes that benefit from conscious consideration of both physiological and non-verbal cues. Leveraging these resources accurately and effectively improves mutual respect and appreciation within both home and work environments. It is commonly accepted that body language and various movements and stances each convey unique messages. For instance, crossed arms, on the one hand, can convey discomfort, defensiveness, or animosity. On the other hand, it may simply be a comfortable stance. Context and timing are important considerations for accurately translating any cue. While a smile is universally recognized as conveying happiness or camaraderie, as I am sure we are all aware, smiles do not always translate into true happiness. A true Duchenne smile is the smile that signals true joy. This expression involves the mouth and eyes in conjunction. Accurate translation of the Duchenne occurs when the zygomaticus major muscle lifts the corners of the mouth, while at the same time the orbicularis oculi muscles lift the cheeks and crinkle the eyes at the corners. Think "crow’s feet".

WWords only serve to convey a small portion of our com-munication. Non-verbal cues affect not just how others see us, but also how effectively and timely we are able to express our ideas to others. Positive and fruitful relationships are most quickly achieved through friendly and approachable body language. In fact, it has been repeatedly proven that relationships between people can be created, sustained, and strengthened through the study of their body language. In different settings, body language can signify a desire to empathize, agree, or comprehend. However, some of the silent cues might also be interpreted as having a hostile or disapproving tone, depending on context, timing, and cultural norms. For example, it takes very little mental effort to nod your head in agreement or comprehension, as a nod or handshake is typically seen as a respectful gesture. However, if exhibited with “perceived” force or in excess, these cues can signal the exact opposite instantly. When in discussion, non-verbal cues and body language can also be used to show that we are paying attention and listening to one another. This display is regarded as "active listening". The truth is that most of the time, we have no idea how much of our communication consists of and is subconsciously measured against our own body language. The subconscious mind's capacity and ability to recognize these cues are endless. Bringing these subconscious practices into the conscious mind allows for interaction with these capacities and abilities. Body language involves far more than just body movements. This physical language is part of a larger schema of non-verbal cues and language such as proxemics (personal space), touch, voice tone or pitch, haptics, pupil dilation, etc.

BBody language includes physical movements, gestures, facial expressions (universal and non-universal), posture, eye gaze, and other subtle phenotypic cues. The significance of body language is that it leaks emotions, thoughts, and intentions, often much more accurately than our words. Trusting, respectful, and intimate relationships are fostered in large part through body language. Maintaining eye contact throughout a conversation is a common indicator of interest, honesty, and attentiveness. Focusing on this is an excellent way of connecting with someone while getting to know them better. If you maintain eye contact too briefly, you are most often perceived by others as uninterested. Too much, and you may be perceived as creepy or aggressive. Everyone has a unique subconscious formula to determine these lines of acceptance. Eye contact is merely one of several nonverbal signs for establishing rapport and intimacy. Smiling, nodding, and maintaining a casual stance can also go a long way toward establishing trust and smoothing over moments of awkwardness in conversation. However, when vocal tone does not match, the subconscious mind notices within milliseconds in highly attuned cases. Voice tone is another cue that is just as important as making eye contact.

WWhen two people are in love, they rely heavily on each other's nonverbal signs to decipher their feelings and intentions. It's amazing how much love, affection, and support can be sent via something as simple as a touch, a smile, or a hug. All these little things done for each other go a long way toward forging and maintaining a solid relationship. These interactions, at varying levels, are required for couples to feel more and more at ease with one another. Emotional expression and empathy are also frequently conveyed through nonverbal cues. Empathy and connection can be strengthened using nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, and hand gestures.

FFirst impressions, job inter-views, and promotions are a few of the professional contexts in which body language not only matters but can also be a determining factor. A strong handshake, an upright posture, and an expression of expertise and professionalism are all things that can be communicated effectively. Much like the eyes, the lips and mouth can play a critical role in body language, communication, and the manifestation of emotions via facial expressions. Frowns are universally considered signs of unhappiness, while smiles are universally perceived as indicators of happiness. Many people cover their mouths when yawning or laughing. Tightened mouths or lips are usually perceived as signs of disapproval, disdain, or lack of trust. Another mouth-related communicator involves lip-biting. The act of biting one's lip may convey a variety of feelings, such as stress, anxiety, concern, or perhaps even sexual arousal, depending on the setting and circumstances.

RResearch has long suggested that interpreting body language can alter the way we think. This impacts our decisions, behavior, and consequences. Smiling, for instance, has been proven to lower the heart rate and reduce stress, even if the smile is fake or forced. This is the reason, according to science, a pencil or pen in your mouth can re-direct your mindset. Daniel Kahneman describes his findings on these simple actions in "Thinking Fast and Slow". He states, "Being amused tends to make you smile, and smiling tends to make you feel amused." There is a simple way you can almost instantly interact with your subconscious that I often suggest to clients. Try it the next time you find yourself caught in a funk or not as productive or happy as you would like. While it works for some more than others, it typically works. Open your mouth and place a pen or pencil horizontally across your mouth, pressing softly at each of the right and left corners. The pen or pencil should not be inside your mouth, and the pen or pencil should remain visible past each corner. Close your mouth and leave it there for 15–20 minutes while you are working on something else. Take care not to forget to have a pen or pencil in your mouth. This facial movement and sustained expression send a signal to your brain that you are more content or happier than you were 15-20 minutes ago. In some studies, the effect has been found to last as long as 2 days. According to science, this further supports suggestions that the brain processes body language as physical stimuli, using it as a guide for responding internally as well as externally.

AAs human beings, we are often creatures of habit. For this reason, most people form certain postures, facial expressions, or hand gestures when their emotions are complacent, motivated, or triggered. Someone who wants to hide their irritation may narrow their eyes and purse their lips. This may further reveal itself with a tilt of the head backward to avoid expressing emotion. Each person has their own unique body language cues that correspond to different emotional states. As people form relationships with one another, the process of picking up on certain emotions, even those concealed, often becomes easier and easier. For better or worse, body language can impact who we are by affecting how the world sees us. A person's stance, eye contact, voice tone, mouth movements, and hand gestures can subconsciously determine whether or not they are hired, given a promotion, or asked out on a date. In other words, body language generally impacts most opportunities, general perceptions, and people who wish to be around us. Body language shapes who we are in many ways. It may impact how others perceive us, interact with us, and make decisions that affect us. Learning to use and understand body language allows us to navigate the world more effectively and confidently. are affecting how the world sees us. A person's stance, eye contact, voice tone, mouth movements, and hand gestures can subconsciously determine whether or not they are hired, given a promotion, or asked out on a date. In other words, body language generally impacts most opportunities, general perceptions, and people who wish to be around us. Body language shapes who we are in many ways. It may impact how others perceive us, interact with us, and make decisions that affect us. Learning to use and understand body language allows us to navigate the world more effectively and confidently.

IIt's imperative to remember that silent cues are a two-way street, and both context and timing are key. It is also important to remember that accurate translation of physiological and non-verbal cues relies on a minimum of three cues working in combination. Paying attention to how you interact with people and the signals you send is just as critical as the words coming out of your mouth. Learning to control one's own body language and non-verbal signs while also effectively recognizing, translating, and responding to another's is akin to learning a new language. When it comes to body language and non-verbal cues, however, everyone uses them repeatedly throughout the day without even realizing it. During each of these instances of communication, we are reaffirming or contradicting our trustworthiness, friendliness, and non-threatening nature, all of which go a long way in helping us develop relationships with other people.

BBecause the subconscious mind is already somewhat fluent in this language, understanding, growth, and development may be assessed rapidly. Thanks to this, you don’t have to change everything about who you are to achieve results. These techniques allow us to experience results in hours or days vs. weeks, months, or years. Consciously focusing on our own cues provides an additional layer of self-awareness, allowing us to communicate more effectively to break the ice, straight to the root, and progress in virtually minutes. Register for one of my discovery calls today and stop leaving life up to fate. Bridge your subconscious and conscious minds today.